Have you ever been in a conversation with someone, and it was so easy and fun? When it was over, you walked away thinking, “Wow! What a great conversation!” How about exchanges that feel awkward, or maybe you felt misunderstood and frustrated?

Communication is an essential part of life. We communicate with family, friends, strangers, coworkers, and so many others. 

We share information, solve problems, agree on a course of action, and socialize through communication.

Yet so often, because of different styles of communicating, our meaning and intention may be lost or misinterpreted by others, leading to misunderstandings and, at times, conflict.

American author and professor of linguistics at Georgetown University, Deborah Tannen, writes about these style differences. We all have different ways we communicate that are forged from our culture, gender, socialization, and geography, to name a few of our conversational influences.

Conversational styles are personal and unpredictable, states Tannen, but typically men and women have different ways of achieving outcomes when it comes to communicating.