Living in Gratitude: Stop Taking Things Personally

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There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz

Most of us have taken something someone else has said personally. If someone says something negative, we may get angry or upset. And when we continually rely on others saying positive things to make us feel good, we allow them to determine our self worth and confidence. Both negatively affect our self-esteem, our relationship with ourself and with others.

When we stop taking things personally, we realize that what other people say and do is not about us at all; it’s about them.

According to Don Miguel Ruiz, author of the Four Agreements, nothing others do is because of us. Their words and actions are a projection of their own reality, their own feelings, beliefs and issues. When we become immune to the opinions and actions of others, be they negative or positive, we are no longer allowing ourselves to be victims.

Three incredible things occur when we refuse to take things to heart.

1.We become the ruler of our own emotions and get clear direction for our life. When we take the things other people say personally, both negative and positive, we are in effect handing over control of our emotions and our life to someone else.  But when we choose to no longer take things personally, we are then in charge of our emotions and our actions. What other people think or expect of us no longer has an impact. We follow our heart, believe in ourselves and do what is best for us and our lives without being influenced by outside pressures. Read more

Living in Gratitude: 4 Ways to Make Your To Do List More Achievable

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People are remarkably bad at remembering long lists of goals. The longer the lists of to-dos and goals, the more overwhelmed and off-track we become. Clarity comes with simplicity. ~Brendon Burchard

Most of us have To Do lists, whether written on a piece of paper or logged into our SmartPhone. Do you often find yourself looking at your list and thinking, “There is no way I can get these all done?”

Well, there is a way to write a To Do list that allows us to achieve the items on that list but also to make ourselves feel good once we’ve completed them. This new way of approaching our To Do list will free us of guilt, allow us to focus on productivity, prioritize our tasks, and master a new way to be.

Below are 4 ways to make your To Do list more achievable while also feeling rewarded and motivated in the process.

1. Write it down
Research shows our brains have a limited capacity for short term memory. As soon as a To Do item pops into your mind, jot it down. Once its in our journal, on a piece of paper or in our phone, then we don’t have to worry about trying to remember that task and we can focus on the other items at hand. Keep a running list of all tasks and pull from that list to compile a daily list. Read more

Living In Gratitude: How To Live a Successful Life

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This simple, sweet poem offers sound advice on living a life of authenticity, appreciation, acceptance and understanding. When we strive to be kind, patient, gentle and gracious, we open our hearts to everything and everyone around us. It nurtures respect of ourselves as well as that of others. By following these guidelines, we will make a positive impact on the world around us.

Mend a quarrel.

Seek out a forgotten friend.

Dismiss suspicion and replace it with trust.

Write a letter.

Give a soft answer.

Encourage youth.

Manifest your loyalty in a word and deed.

Keep a promise.

Forgo a grudge. Read more

Living In Gratitude: Finding Your Zen at Work

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When we know how to take care of our strong emotions and to establish good relationships at work, communication improves, stress is reduced, and our work becomes much more pleasant. This is a huge benefit not only to ourselves, but also to those we work with, to our loved ones, our families, and the whole of society. ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Each of us spends a considerable amount of our daily lives at work and we should use this time to create a better world, challenge ourselves and creating a sense of personal growth and enjoyment.

Zen Buddhist master Thich Nhat Hanh, credited with being the father of mindfulness in the West, has developed a checklist to ensure that we stay in balance and are able to see our work in the context of creating a better world.

Here are Thay’s 15 practical steps to bring mindfulness to our work:

Read more

Living In Gratitude: Appreciation Benefits Relationships

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Romantic relationships are never perfect. They are often a combination of frustration, passion, joy, and disappointment.

Often, we tend to focus on what we believe needs fixing:

  • He doesn’t take out the trash
  • She is always texting at the dinner table
  • He doesn’t listen
  • She doesn’t fill the cars up with gas

Though each of these issues could very well be perfectly valid, how about focusing on all the wonderful things we’re getting from our relationships?

Just as it’s a choice to criticize or blame our partners for what we think we’re not getting in a relationship, it’s also a choice to be grateful for what we have and for where we are in this moment.

Gratitude can not only improve your attitude; it can help improve your love life.

Let’s look at how.

How we act is what we attract. Kindness attracts kindness. Thoughtfulness attracts thoughtfulness. Love attracts love. One thoughtful act can make someone’s day. And guess what? It can make our relationships stronger. Read more

Living In Gratitude: 10 Traits of Emotionally Strong People

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Emotional strength tends to be misconstrued as a lack of feeling. Many believe emotions are the opposite of reason and emotional strength is simply a form of numbness that often presents itself to others as superiority and unwavering toughness.

In reality, emotional strength has little to do with toughness and quite a bit to do with resilience, two very different things.  Thanks to the development of positive psychology, one thing has become clear: it is not how little chaos we experience in life, but how we respond to it, that counts.

Below are 10 traits of emotionally strong people:

1. They display peace more than power.

Genuinely strong people often do not exhibit dominance, aggressiveness or power. They understand that real power is in being your own source of control rather than controlling others. Peace is the most unwavering, unshakable, resilient strength you can possibly possess.

Read more

Living In Gratitude: When Life Isn’t Fair

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We have no right to ask, when sorrow comes, ‘Why did this happen to me?’ unless we ask the same question for every joy that comes our way. ~ Philip S. Bernstein

Many of us live with the idea that life needs to be fair. When something isn’t fair, we experience numerous, negative reactions including petulance, outrage, hurt, despair, anxiety, and fear.

When our sense of fairness isn’t met, we often lash out at others or at ourselves. But where does this sense of entitlement come from, the idea that we must always be treated fairly?

There are many things in life, the world and history that aren’t fair. Terrible things happen to good and innocent people and good things happen to misguided and cruel people. Read more

Living In Gratitude: 4 Things That Make Us Happier

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Neuroscience has proven that gratitude makes us happier, affecting our brain at a biological level.

The benefits of gratitude start with the dopamine system, because feeling grateful activates the brain stem region that produces dopamine, the chemical that makes us feel happy.

Another powerful effect of gratitude is that it can boost serotonin, which helps maintain the balance of moods as well as contributing to wellbeing and happiness. Thinking of things for which we are grateful  forces us to focus on the positive aspects of life. This simple act increases serotonin production in the brain.

It’s not finding gratitude that matters most; it’s remembering to look in the first place. Read more

Living In Gratitude: Learning From Mistakes

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Each experience is a stepping-stone in life, including any so-called mistakes. Love yourself for all your mistakes, they have been very valuable to you. They have taught you many things, it is the way you learn. ~Louise L Hay

We’ve been taught to be disappointed, be ashamed or lose confidence in ourselves when we make a mistake. Because of this, many of us do everything in our power to avoid making mistake. This includes not taking risks that could lead to (perceived) failure, going against the grain, thinking outside the box and doing things outside of our comfort zones.

But throughout life, we are in a constant state of change and learning. Each mistake we make is a stepping stone along our life’s journey. Mistakes enable us to learn and grow, to master skills, to become accomplished at many things, learn become more aware about what we want and what we don’t. If we use those ‘errors’ as lessons rather than deterrents to our personal progress, we can achieve amazing things. Read more

Living In Gratitude: 5 Questions To Ask During Dinner

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The strength and depth of our relationships contributes to our happiness and wellbeing.  But keeping those closest to us connected can be a challenge with our busy lifestyles. This simple, 5 question series created by world-renown relationship expert, Anil Gupta, is a great way to open up a dialogue with your family around the dinner table. The questions create an environment of acknowledgment, gratitude and discussion while keeping love and respect at the forefront.

How It Works

  • Jot down each question on a slip of paper and place in a bowl.
  • To start, have one member of the family choose a question and answer it.
  • Then, each remaining member of the family answers the same question.
  • It is important to take turns leading the meeting so every person gets to feel important, respected, loved and heard.
  • It is empowering for children to be allowed to ‘run’ a family discussion so be sure to include even the youngest.

Focus On The People

Dive right in with all five questions or ask one each time your family gathers to enjoy an evening meal.

1. What is it you’ve done today that you’d like to be acknowledged for?

Wonderful for both children and adults, this self-esteem boosting question helps us feel appreciated and recognize one another.

2. What are you grateful for today?

Gratitude increases self-worth and improves our overall physical, emotional and mental well-being. And, by expressing gratitude, we discover more things for which to be grateful.

3. What act of kindness did you see or perform today?

This question teaches children to extend kindness to others and to see kindness as a natural way of living. It also reminds adults and teaches children to be aware of all the beauty in the world.

4. What was great about today? What magical thing did you see today?

Asking this question promotes interest and involvement in each others’ lives. It also boosts happiness by focusing on uplifting things.

5. What unresolved issues do we need to talk about?

Reinforcing open communication, transparency and candor among family members, this question also prevents the build up of resentment by addressing issues on a regular basis, creating a place of love and understanding.

These 5 ‘little’ questions hold tremendous power. Asking the right questions while being fully present and aware will make an enormous impact on your family’s relationship. It will create a safe place for discussion, focus on core values of kindness and appreciation as well as nurture respect, awareness and mutual understanding.

May your day be filled with gratitude and good things.