Living In Gratitude: Appreciation Benefits Relationships

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Romantic relationships are never perfect. They are often a combination of frustration, passion, joy, and disappointment.

Often, we tend to focus on what we believe needs fixing:

  • He doesn’t take out the trash
  • She is always texting at the dinner table
  • He doesn’t listen
  • She doesn’t fill the cars up with gas

Though each of these issues could very well be perfectly valid, how about focusing on all the wonderful things we’re getting from our relationships?

Just as it’s a choice to criticize or blame our partners for what we think we’re not getting in a relationship, it’s also a choice to be grateful for what we have and for where we are in this moment.

Gratitude can not only improve your attitude; it can help improve your love life.

Let’s look at how.

How we act is what we attract. Kindness attracts kindness. Thoughtfulness attracts thoughtfulness. Love attracts love. One thoughtful act can make someone’s day. And guess what? It can make our relationships stronger. Read more

Living In Gratitude: 10 Traits of Emotionally Strong People

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Emotional strength tends to be misconstrued as a lack of feeling. Many believe emotions are the opposite of reason and emotional strength is simply a form of numbness that often presents itself to others as superiority and unwavering toughness.

In reality, emotional strength has little to do with toughness and quite a bit to do with resilience, two very different things.  Thanks to the development of positive psychology, one thing has become clear: it is not how little chaos we experience in life, but how we respond to it, that counts.

Below are 10 traits of emotionally strong people:

1. They display peace more than power.

Genuinely strong people often do not exhibit dominance, aggressiveness or power. They understand that real power is in being your own source of control rather than controlling others. Peace is the most unwavering, unshakable, resilient strength you can possibly possess.

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Living In Gratitude: When Life Isn’t Fair

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We have no right to ask, when sorrow comes, ‘Why did this happen to me?’ unless we ask the same question for every joy that comes our way. ~ Philip S. Bernstein

Many of us live with the idea that life needs to be fair. When something isn’t fair, we experience numerous, negative reactions including petulance, outrage, hurt, despair, anxiety, and fear.

When our sense of fairness isn’t met, we often lash out at others or at ourselves. But where does this sense of entitlement come from, the idea that we must always be treated fairly?

There are many things in life, the world and history that aren’t fair. Terrible things happen to good and innocent people and good things happen to misguided and cruel people. Read more

Living In Gratitude: 4 Things That Make Us Happier

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Neuroscience has proven that gratitude makes us happier, affecting our brain at a biological level.

The benefits of gratitude start with the dopamine system, because feeling grateful activates the brain stem region that produces dopamine, the chemical that makes us feel happy.

Another powerful effect of gratitude is that it can boost serotonin, which helps maintain the balance of moods as well as contributing to wellbeing and happiness. Thinking of things for which we are grateful  forces us to focus on the positive aspects of life. This simple act increases serotonin production in the brain.

It’s not finding gratitude that matters most; it’s remembering to look in the first place. Read more

Living In Gratitude: Learning From Mistakes

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Each experience is a stepping-stone in life, including any so-called mistakes. Love yourself for all your mistakes, they have been very valuable to you. They have taught you many things, it is the way you learn. ~Louise L Hay

We’ve been taught to be disappointed, be ashamed or lose confidence in ourselves when we make a mistake. Because of this, many of us do everything in our power to avoid making mistake. This includes not taking risks that could lead to (perceived) failure, going against the grain, thinking outside the box and doing things outside of our comfort zones.

But throughout life, we are in a constant state of change and learning. Each mistake we make is a stepping stone along our life’s journey. Mistakes enable us to learn and grow, to master skills, to become accomplished at many things, learn become more aware about what we want and what we don’t. If we use those ‘errors’ as lessons rather than deterrents to our personal progress, we can achieve amazing things. Read more

Living In Gratitude: 5 Questions To Ask During Dinner

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The strength and depth of our relationships contributes to our happiness and wellbeing.  But keeping those closest to us connected can be a challenge with our busy lifestyles. This simple, 5 question series created by world-renown relationship expert, Anil Gupta, is a great way to open up a dialogue with your family around the dinner table. The questions create an environment of acknowledgment, gratitude and discussion while keeping love and respect at the forefront.

How It Works

  • Jot down each question on a slip of paper and place in a bowl.
  • To start, have one member of the family choose a question and answer it.
  • Then, each remaining member of the family answers the same question.
  • It is important to take turns leading the meeting so every person gets to feel important, respected, loved and heard.
  • It is empowering for children to be allowed to ‘run’ a family discussion so be sure to include even the youngest.

Focus On The People

Dive right in with all five questions or ask one each time your family gathers to enjoy an evening meal.

1. What is it you’ve done today that you’d like to be acknowledged for?

Wonderful for both children and adults, this self-esteem boosting question helps us feel appreciated and recognize one another.

2. What are you grateful for today?

Gratitude increases self-worth and improves our overall physical, emotional and mental well-being. And, by expressing gratitude, we discover more things for which to be grateful.

3. What act of kindness did you see or perform today?

This question teaches children to extend kindness to others and to see kindness as a natural way of living. It also reminds adults and teaches children to be aware of all the beauty in the world.

4. What was great about today? What magical thing did you see today?

Asking this question promotes interest and involvement in each others’ lives. It also boosts happiness by focusing on uplifting things.

5. What unresolved issues do we need to talk about?

Reinforcing open communication, transparency and candor among family members, this question also prevents the build up of resentment by addressing issues on a regular basis, creating a place of love and understanding.

These 5 ‘little’ questions hold tremendous power. Asking the right questions while being fully present and aware will make an enormous impact on your family’s relationship. It will create a safe place for discussion, focus on core values of kindness and appreciation as well as nurture respect, awareness and mutual understanding.

May your day be filled with gratitude and good things.

Living In Gratitude: Unforgettable Thank You Notes

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I keep all of my letters, postcards, and thank you notes. I’ll keep them forever! ~Jane Levy

For the most part, technology is incredibly beneficial. It enables us to do a lot more in less time, allowing us to be more efficient and effective. But there are drawbacks. Faster communication has reduced the level of personal connection in daily interactions, especially when it comes to expressing our gratitude.  Instead of a handwritten note, most of us tend to send a quick text or email. But written thank you notes are a small touch that has the potential to leave a lasting impression that make people feel very special.

Handwritten notes may be sent for any occasion after a meeting with an important customer or client, when you receive a gift, or when you’re invited to an event. To ensure a positive response, keep your thank-you notes short, simple, and meaningful.

Here are 3 more tips to keep in mind to write thoughtful thank you notes.

Invest in branded stationery

Order stationery custom-made especially for you rather than purchasing a pack of thank-you cards from the store. The design and style of the card should reflect your personality or personal brand (if using for business thank you notes). It will also be more enjoyable to you, the writer, to use beautiful, personalized stationery. Read more

Living In Gratitude: The Science Of Smiling

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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. ~Phyllis Diller

When we are happy, our natural response is to smile. But when we smile, is our natural response to be happy?

Its been scientifically proven that even faking or forcing a smile will minimize stress and makes us happier.

This was what psychological scientists Tara Kraft and Sarah Pressman discovered when they had 169 participants produce one of three facial expressions:

  • a neutral expression
  • a half smile
  • a big, ear to ear smile

Only half of participants were told to smile.

Once their expression was ‘in place’, participants did a series of stressful, multi-tasking activities. The researchers monitored heart rates and self-reported stress levels while the subjects completed these various tasks. Read more

Living In Gratitude: Holiday To Do List

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The holidays are filled with family, food and festive celebration as well as To Do lists that add to our stress and can detract from the enjoyment of the season. From dashing around buying, wrapping and mailing gifts, to planning menus, shopping and preparing food, to making sure we fit in all of the events and parties, we are so busy checking off items on our list that we often lose sight of the meaning of this time of year.

Maybe it’s time to take a step back and rewrite our list. When we change our perspective, that To Do list becomes filled with things the season is really all about.

Be Present

Live in the moment. Enjoy the task at hand and the people you’re with rather than worrying about what’s to come or what’s happened. Enjoy your now. Read more

Living In Gratitude: Laughter

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Laughter is important, not only because if makes us happy, it also has health benefits. And that’s because laughter completely engages the body and releases the mind. It connects us to others, and that in itself has a healing effect. ~Marlo Thomas

There is nothing quite as enjoyable or amazing as laughter. The ability to laugh is an incredible gift. Laughter doesn’t need to be learned, it’s an innate ability that we all possess, from the youngest baby to the oldest adult. As Charles Dickens once said, “There is nothing in the world for irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.”

Laughter takes many forms, from a giggle to the full-blown, doubled-over, can’t breathe belly laugh. Laughing allows us to let go of our stress and tension, release anxiety and live in the moment. Laughing is therapeutic and lifts our spirits. In addition to being the best medicine, its also an instant vacation! Read more