Our greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought above the other. ~Williams James

These days, we are all busy. Our days are filled with endless to do lists, both at work and at home. Being so busy, we tend to fall into the mindset that undertaking the next thing on our to-do list takes precedence over relaxing.

But it’s harder to take care of all the things we HAVE to do or for connecting with important people in our lives — if we don’t first take care of ourselves. When we take time out to relax and unwind, we will have more energy, patience and a better outlook to tackle everything we need to do.

Below are a few relaxation techniques that can help reduce stress, increase focus and calm our bodies and minds.

1.Deep Breathing

Focusing our awareness on our breath is an exceptional way in which to calm our minds and emotions, allowing us to relax. Our breathing frequently reflects our emotions. When we are stressed, angry or anxious, we tend to do shallow breathing, which perpetuates these emotional states. By bringing awareness to and altering our breathing, we can shift both our attention and mood. Read more →

Problems are only opportunities in work clothes. ~ Henry J. Kaiser

When faced with any sort of challenge, we have the choice to approach that obstacle as an opportunity to make us better people or to adopt the attitude that ‘the world’ or ‘someone’ is conspiring against us.

When we look at all of the curve balls life throws us, be the big, small or in between, we realize that each and every problem has a purpose:

One to make you stronger, one to make you more patient, one to teach tolerance and forgiveness, another to help us communicate more clearly, and yet another to instill creativity. Read more →

Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.

Researchers are discovering that thinking optimistically can not only raise a person’s spirits but can even improve their health and allow them to live longer.

Science has proven that there is a direct link between our brains and our bodies. Studies have shown an indisputable link between having a positive outlook and health benefits like lower blood pressure, less heart disease, better weight control and healthier blood sugar levels. Cultivating a positive mental attitude, especially when we are facing ill health, can boost our immune systems and ward off depression.

Nurturing an optimistic outlook can be beneficial even in the midst of an incurable illness, helping improve quality of life.

Dr. Wendy Schlessel Harpham is the author of several books for people facing cancer. Twenty-seven years ago, she was a practicing internist when she learned she had non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. During her 15 years of treatments for eight relapses, she set the stage for happiness and hope by surrounding herself with people who lifted her spirits, keeping a daily gratitude journal, doing something good for someone else, and watching funny, uplifting movies. Read more →

We’ve talked about neuroscience before. Neuroscience is the study of nervous system, including the brain. This research looks closely at behavior and learning.

Alex Korb, a neuroscientist at UCLA, offered four key insights that will boost happiness, all based on his scientific research.

1. Ask, “What am I grateful for?”

Gratitude has been shown to increase our brain’s dopamine and serotonin levels, affecting it at a biological level. Dopamine is commonly associated with pleasure while serotonin affects mood and social behavior. The more we have coursing through our bodies, the better our appetite, memory, gregariousness and sleep.

The most important thing is to ask the question and consider possibilities, even if we don’t arrive at an answer. This helps our brain produce these two positive chemicals, making us feel happier. By searching for things to appreciate, we also enhance our emotional intelligence, enabling us to discover things to appreciate over time. Read more →

Since 1938, the Harvard Study of Adult Development has tracked the lives of 724 men over 75 years. This rare and enlightening study has gathered information about these men’s work, health, home life and more from the time their were teenagers to now, when many are well into their 80s.

After three-quarters of a century and tens of thousands of pages of collected data, one main insight rises to the top.

Good relationships keep us happier and healthier.

Three primary lessons about relationships came from this incredible study:

1. Social connections are really good for us

People who are more socially connected to family, friends and community are emotionally happier, psychically healthier and live longer than those without deep social connections. People who are lonely and isolated are not as happy, suffer from declining health as they age, their brain function decreases and they live shorter lives. Read more →

We all have people in our lives who challenge us.

These people can be overly critical, always think they are right, take credit for other’s work or successes, bring drama to every situation, blame others, or act like they know absolutely everything.

As is human nature, we often react negatively to their behaviors, actions and personalities because we find them aggravating. But instead of getting pulled into their whirlwind of negativity, try the following ways of showing them appreciation. Because, if we think about it, they are teaching us things about ourselves and how to better handle difficult people and situations. They push us, test us and stretch our boundaries of patience, all which, if we react with kindness, tolerance and gratitude, can make us a better person. Read more →

Gratitude opens your heart to love.

Studies on gratitude show that those people who are grateful have more friends, deeper, more meaningful relationships and healthier partnerships/marriages.

Gratitude creates an amazing ripple effect in our relationships.

When we appreciate those around us, we begin to understand on a deeper level how much our friends, family and loved ones bring to our lives. Support, laughter, connection, conversation. And when we express that gratitude to each of these people, not only does our heart swell with love, but it positively affects the people for whom we are grateful. Our gratitude makes them feel loved, wanted, needed and appreciated. And when they feel all of these positive things, they in turn, ‘pay it forward’ by expressing their appreciation to the ones that love, guide, and support them.

Ways to show gratitude to the people you love:

1. Share a specific example of something they did for you and how it made a difference in your life. Read more →

Love is our true foundation, inborn in all of us.

Last week, our blog talked about The Four Agreements and how they can help us let go of fear and embrace an authentic life. With Valentine’s Day only a few days away, of course, this week’s topic is love.

But rather than focusing on romantic love, we are instead discussing about how to live life from a place of love. Just as when we transform our internal beliefs, when we live life based on love, this also empowers us to live authentically.

Living a life founded on love embodies three parts: Feeling love, being love and spreading love.

Feeling Love

Each of us is born from love. It is our foundation and the essence of who we are. Over time, we lose site of that and instead form a base of fear, which shrouds and overpowers the underpinnings of love. To overcome this, we first need to learn to truly love ourselves. We are all worthy, deserving and valuable no matter our faults and foibles. Loving ourselves fills us with compassion, abundance, appreciation, happiness, understanding, acceptance, forgiveness and kindness. When we love ourselves unconditionally, only then can we begin to be love and spread love.  Read more →

As humans, death is not our biggest fear but instead we fear taking the risk to be alive and express who we really are. ~Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

From the moment we are born, we begin forming ideas, beliefs and images of how we should act, what we should and shouldn’t do and how to behave. We learn to live our lives trying to satisfy other people’s demands and expectations because we are afraid of rejection, of being singled out, of not being good enough.

Every one of us has created a unique image of perfection that we not only judge others by but ourselves as well. This ‘perfection persona’ is what we believe is necessary to be accepted. It embodies our physical appearance, our work ethic, our success, our personality. Yet no matter how hard we try, no one, including us, will ever live up to this idealistic image. Read more →

As you grow older, you’ll find the only things you regret are the things you didn’t do. – Zachary Scott

We only have one life to live. Below are some wise words of advice on how to make the most of each minute, each day, each year, so that we live our live to the fullest.

1. The most important person in your life is the person who agreed to share their life with you. Treat them with the importance and appreciation they deserve.

2. No one knows if they’ll a live a long life or a short. But either way, it pays to take care of yourself. Exercise, eat right, manage your stress, drink enough water, get 8 hours of sleep, floss your teeth. Your odds for a long, healthy life increase by doing all of these things.

3. Stuff is just stuff. Don’t focus on acquiring material objects. Hold onto time and acquire experiences instead.

Read more →