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Living In Gratitude: Finding Joy

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As a society, our primary focus is on achievement and success. The pressure to perform and the heightened expectation of success is a burden that weighs us down, decreasing our enthusiasm and robbing us of the ability to experience joy. 

An accomplished life frequently equates to our career. But there is so much more to life than work. When we define our life’s purpose solely on our level of success in our jobs, this can leave us feeling devoid of joy.

In her book, “Joyful,” Ingrid Fetell Lee reveals how important it is to nurture joy in our lives.

Joy is all about feeling good in the moment. Kindled by our five senses, joy is what we feel when we watch puppies playing, hear the belly laugh of a baby, see the stunning beauty of a rainbow, or are immersed in the rich serene colors of a sunset.

Fetell Lee explains that as a culture, we are so obsessed with the pursuit of long-term happiness that we lose sight of finding moments of joy. In our quest for happiness, we are looking to achieve a permanent state being, something that is not realistic or attainable. That’s why it is so important that we seek out those moments of joy to refuel our spirit. 

The practicality of day-to-day life coupled with an expectation of success erases joy. Yet, joy is a significant aspect of our innate reward system. We can instantly boost our mood and motivation by seeking out joyous experiences.

There are things that have been proven to universally ignite joy: things that are bursting with color, round shapes, symmetry, and abundance. 

“Color is life because a world without it is dead.” – Inrid Fetell Lee

Joy helps bring about the very best of who we are. Each moment of joy may be fleeting but they add up over time, filling our “bucket,” making us smile, giving us those warm fuzzies, motivating us to be our best selves.

Go through each day with an intent to seek out things that bring you joy. Maybe it’s how the morning sunlight glints off your cat’s vivid green eyes or how loved you feel when your partner or child wraps you in a hug. It could be the cool breeze across your skin on a warm afternoon or the smell of your favorite food. Those are the places where joy hides.

Yes, success and achievement are important but finding joy benefits all areas of our lives. Joy motivates and inspires. Joy opens us up to possibilities, helps us be better people, and enables us to connect with others. 

Go ahead. Find the things that bring you joy. Grab onto those moments. Embrace them. Let them fill you up with pure exuberance. 

May your day be filled with gratitude, joy, and good things.

Living In Gratitude: Breaking The Complaining Habit

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You can complain because roses have thorns or you can rejoice because thorns have roses. ~Ziggy

Studies have shown that a good majority of us complain once each minute during a conversation. Why do we engage in this behavior so frequently?

Because it feels good. But just because it feels good doesn’t mean it is good for us.

In fact, research shows that complaining is damaging to our health.

 

Any time we repeat a behavior, it becomes easier and easier. This is true of things that are good for us as well as bad.  Just as paths in a meadow that are traveled frequently become more defined, so do the cognitive pathways that we exercise become more enduring. When we continually complain, our brain rewires itself by building neurological information bridges. As we complain more and more, these bridges become more distinct, resulting in this negative pattern developing into a default behavior. Read more

Living In Gratitude: Setting Healthy Boundaries

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Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others. ~Brené Brown

Many of us lack boundaries in all aspects of our life. We allow others to make demands on us as well as our time without our permission. Instead, we acquiesce for fear of hurting someone’s feelings, being excluded, or simply out of obligation.

This absence of personal boundaries teaches others that we can and will do what they ask of us, no matter how inconvenient. And those same people will continue to test this lack of boundaries, always pushing to see if we will go one step further, put up with one more inconvenience, take on one more project at work.

One large contributing factor to a lack of personal limits is our smartphones, tablets, and computers. There is a prevailing belief that we MUST respond instantaneously to an email, text, social media post, or phone call.  Being tethered to our devices keeps us at the mercy of others, enabling them to make demands on us anytime and anywhere.

Establishing unyielding boundaries are an indicator of our relationship with ourselves. These limiters are indicative that we value ourselves and firmly believe that we are entitled to determining what demands or requests we accept or decline. These personal restrictions shouldn’t be compromised or altered to fit different situations or relationships. Setting healthy boundaries helps reduce the drama, chaos, obligation, and stress the results from taking on other people’s problems or agreeing to participate in something that doesn’t serve us.

When we fail to set steadfast boundaries for ourselves, we openly allow others to take advantage of us.  Establishing and adhering to healthy boundaries are representative of the respect for ourselves, our values, and our time. These restrictions do not mean we care less for others but rather that we are honoring our needs and standing up for ourselves.

If you are one of the many who don’t have limitations in place or whose boundaries are much more fluid than they should be, here are five steps to defining and implementing healthy personal boundaries.

  1. Identify your core values

Determine exactly what things are important to you in all areas of your life: work, family, friends, romantic relationships, etc. This step is not about avoiding or trying to appease others but should be about you. They should focus on things that allow you to minimize stress and anxiety, allow creativity and productivity, and maintain a sense of personal satisfaction and stability. Read more

Living in Gratitude: 7 Ways to Make the World a Better Place

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You make the world a better place by making yourself a better person. ~Scott Scorrell

During our lifetime, each of us makes an impact. One of the most significant impressions we can make is by doing what we can as individuals to make the world a better place.

Here are 7 ways we can have a positive influence.

1. DO NO HARM

If everyone endeavored to achieve this goal, our world would be transformed. We should all strive to live by this motto. Help others. Be patient. Smile more. Say thank you. Be courteous. Make eye contact. Spread kindness, love, and goodwill every day.

2. ENJOY YOUR TIME

Instead of focusing on the negative, look at what is wonderful and amazing. Sure, it’s easy to get caught up in what isn’t going our way, to complain, argue, and get upset or annoyed. Yet by looking and being grateful for the good, we can shift our outlook, enjoying what life has to offer.

3. UPLIFT THE NEXT GENERATION

Being a good parent or grandparent (or an encouraging adult influence if you don’t have children in your life) is a way to positively impact and inspire the younger generation and as such, the world as a whole. Working toward offering youth new and better opportunities, talking to them about what it means to be part of a connected, global world and teaching them to make their own uplifting contributions is a huge payoff for the next generation.

Read more

Living In Gratitude: A Simple Formula For Living Your Best Life

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To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist. That is all. ~Oscar Wilde

Life is a gift. When we wake up every day to that realization and do the things that really matter, we move from a place of mere existence to one of living.

So what DOES matter? Below is a simple formula for living your best life.

Take care of yourself, body, mind, and spirit.

Learn from the past. Plan for the future. Live in the present.

Be kind, even to those who are unkind.

Take responsibility for your actions.

Realize mistakes are learning opportunities not something to beat yourself up over.

Listen more. Talk less.

Do something nice and try not to get caught.

Strive for excellence, not perfection.

Be humble.

Be gracious.

Praise rather than criticize.

Laugh. Love. Hug.

Connect with others.

Surround yourself with people who inspire and support you. Do the same for them.

Be on time.

Live beneath your means.

Spend time in nature.

Take time to be alone. Reflect.

Be courteous and polite.

Say thank you. A lot.

Be tolerant and understanding, even if you don’t agree.

Give of your time and talents.

Communicate clearly.

Don’t take things personally.

Instead of assuming, ask for clarification.

Take risks. Overcome fears.

Believe in yourself.

Be grateful.

Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s all small stuff.

May your day be filled with gratitude and good things.

 

 

Living In Gratitude: 10 Tips on Disconnecting From Your Digital Devices

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Digital media is everywhere and most of us are engaged in its use on a daily basis, both personally and professionally.

Digital media is defined by the Digital Media and Society report as “products and services from the media, entertainment and information industry, it includes digital platforms (websites and apps), digitized content (text, audio, video, images) and services (information, communication, entertainment) accessed via a variety of digital devices.”

Life as we know it has changed thanks to digital media, including how we connect and collaborate. Hyperconnectivity, the increasing digital interconnection of people and things, has done much to improve our quality of life including speeding up the dissemination of knowledge and information, building bridges over the boundaries of time and location, and fostering unparalleled levels of communication and social interaction.

Many of digital media’s positive effects are found in our professional lives. We can collaborate and communicate more easily with people around the world. We can improve our skills via online courses. We can work virtually.

Read more

Living In Gratitude: The Power of Hope

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I don’t want to get my hopes up.

So many of us utter this simple statement without realizing the impact it is having on our lives.

Our rationale for not being hopeful is that we are being realistic and instead of setting ourselves up for disappointment when our hopes fall short, we instead have steeled ourselves against the worst (and in our mind, probably the more likely scenario).

According to psychotherapist Katherine Schafler, we validate this ‘emotional restriction as mature and disciplined.’ But what this avoidance of hope is really doing is dampening our decision-making, perspective on life and ability to creatively problem solve.

A quote by Zig Ziglar conveys how important hope is: “The door to a balanced success swings wide open on the hinges of hope and encouragement.” Read more

Living In Gratitude: Change These Two Thoughts

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Acknowledging the good you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance. ~Eckhart Tolle

A few blogs ago, we discussed the importance of an uplifting morning ritual to begin each day on the right foot and in a positive state of mind.

For those of us who haven’t yet implemented any of the suggestions from that article, or possibly even those of us who have, we may still be unconsciously undermining our days with two thoughts.

“I didn’t get enough sleep.”

and

“I don’t have enough time.”

A recent article penned by psychologist and writer, Katherine Schafler, discusses how these two thoughts become a ‘default mode’ for many of us, setting us up for a mindset of scarcity. She says that we “focus on what we wish was different, and in doing so, we subtly reject all that we already have.” Read more

Living In Gratitude: 13 Life Changing Lessons

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Wayne Dyer was a profound person whose wisdom about honoring ourselves and living in truth give us great insight into how to live life. Below are 13 life-changing lessons we can learn from this incredible man.

  1. Cooperation is healthier than competition

When we constantly work on bettering ourselves rather than comparing and competing with others, our focus shifts from one of separation to one of inclusion and cooperation.

“If you’re always in a hurry, always trying to get ahead of the other guy, or someone else’s performance is what motivates you, then that person is in control of you.” ~ Wayne Dyer

  1. Don’t try to change those you love

We should love people for who they are not what we want them to be. Love means not imposing our expectations, will and beliefs to mold others into someone else.

“Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.” ~ Wayne Dyer  Read more

Living In Gratitude: Positive Outlook = Good Health

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Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.

Researchers are discovering that thinking optimistically can not only raise a person’s spirits but can even improve their health and allow them to live longer.

Science has proven that there is a direct link between our brains and our bodies. Studies have shown an indisputable link between having a positive outlook and health benefits like lower blood pressure, less heart disease, better weight control and healthier blood sugar levels. Cultivating a positive mental attitude, especially when we are facing ill health, can boost our immune systems and ward off depression.

Nurturing an optimistic outlook can be beneficial even in the midst of an incurable illness, helping improve quality of life.

Dr. Wendy Schlessel Harpham is the author of several books for people facing cancer. Twenty-seven years ago, she was a practicing internist when she learned she had non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. During her 15 years of treatments for eight relapses, she set the stage for happiness and hope by surrounding herself with people who lifted her spirits, keeping a daily gratitude journal, doing something good for someone else, and watching funny, uplifting movies. Read more