At one time or another, and probably more than once, we’ve all felt we were owed an apology that never came. And when that happens, it is all too easy to hold tight to the pain, letting resentment and anger build. Our relationship with the person who failed to ask for forgiveness begins to deteriorate. We say to ourselves, “Well, they didn’t say they were sorry, so why should I forgive them? Ultimately, we make a choice to be mad at them. This anger builds until eventually, what we once shared or liked about that person ceases to exist.
Has anyone else had this happen to them, or is it just me?
What we don’t realize is that this resentment and anger is like a disease that we are inflicting upon ourselves. If we let it, this chronic condition will gradually overwhelm our positive emotions until we are literally consumed by it. By failing to forgive or let go, we create a negative bond of energy with the person we haven’t forgiven. We build ourselves an emotional prison with every resentful and bitter thought. This prison contaminates our relationship with others as well as the person ‘at fault’.
Research shows that when we don’t forgive our blood pressure increases, our heart rate increases, muscle tensions increase. We have unnecessary “fight or flight” responses when we fail to forgive which over time is detrimental to our health and wellbeing.
Yet, the matter of healing is in our own hands, whether we get an apology or not.
We make the choice to hold a grudge or forgive. And forgiveness allows us to let go and move on rather than stay stuck in a place of anger and resentment.
Forgiveness isn’t easy, but neither is living life inside the walls of a prison built from anger.
One possibility for letting go is: If an apology is what would have healed you, then imagine you got one. Visualize the person saying they are sorry in whatever positive way will allow you to heal. And then accept it. Let go. Move on. Allow those prison walls to crumble. Enjoy all life has to offer.
Share With Us
What process have you used to forgive someone from whom you never received an apology?
How did this positively affect your life?
Have a day filled with gratitude and good things.
Learn, Live & Hope Magnets
Learn from Yesterday
Live for Today
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Each time I see and read these words a natural “Ah yes” emerges in my thoughts.
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- Set of three in a gift box
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